I’ve been meaning to type this up since Saturday and I guess it was good that I didn’t because Sunday it got even better! Ya know how money has been somewhat of an issue lately? Well this past Wednesday I was able to babysit my friend’s nephew again, $15 for two hours. Easy money. Then Saturday I had work 6-9 but in the morning I was just watching cartoons and curling my hair, sitting on Facebook and I got a notification on the group the servers have for covering and switching shifts that someone had a 2-6 they were asking me to pick up. I took it. It was really slow all day and the night was stressful. I didn’t make much money at all, but it was still more than I would have if I’d only gone in at 6 so I had to be thankful for that. But wait, there’s more! For RTU last weekend I was under the impression that we were supposed to pay the person we carpooled with for gas money, so on top of the money for my part of the hotel room I gave an extra $10. Well Sunday at church I was given that money back! Like, what? Crazy! What a blessing! Oh! And I forgot the best, and perhaps most humbling, part. Wednesday night at church I took the $15 I’d made babysitting and tithed it all. I haven’t tithed in months. I wouldn’t even know where to begin figuring out how much I should have tithed thus far since I started serving. But the point it is, I gave over all $15 without question, without selfishness. I just did it. Because I knew it was only right, especially after I’ve been skimping out so much the past few months. It felt really good, and it only took a few days for the blessings to start pouring in! Praise God!
I come from a poor family. Yes, compared to many we are still extremely privileged but we still have spent many a year scraping the bottom of the barrel, wearing hand me downs, and buying food with government money. The past few months have been the worst I’ve seen since I was in elementary school. I don’t know what went down or how it happened but it’s really starting to take a toll on me. About a month ago my mom made me give her $100 to pay the electric bill. I asked her about it 2 or so weeks later because I wanted it back for my birthday. Didn’t happen. Today she comes to me saying she needs an extra $60 or our internet (which we both need for work and school) will be shut off tomorrow night. Now, “technically” I have the money in checking as well as savings but I absolutely refuse to touch my savings for anything other than emergencies. My own personal emergencies. It’s my money, I saved it all completely on my own, and I’ll touch it when I want to. Now, like I said, I have the money but it’s the slow season at work so I’m only getting maybe 8-10 hours a week if I’m lucky. So I can’t be just throwing my money around. I’m already having to buy all my own food both out and at the grocery store. I was already buying my own gas but now my mom rides to empty so much and for so long that I have to put in $5-$10 every time I drive, just to ensure I can get to where I’m going. (I’m terrified of running out and our gas gauge isn’t reliable.
Anyway, the point is that I am very frustrated. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m paying rent in my own house. I know this isn’t a devotion post, but it’s a God post. The Bible forever talks about what money can do to a person, having too much of it. In a way, they say the poor are the blessed. But I don’t consider getting all your power and water and internet shut off and not having any food in your house blessed. Especially when the rest of your family is just as broke and can’t help you out and all those Christian friends from the church that are more privileged and are supposed to help don’t exist so we’re screwed on every earthly resource God provides. I’m nearing rock bottom.