The Root of All Evil

Money.

I come from a poor family. Yes, compared to many we are still extremely privileged but we still have spent many a year scraping the bottom of the barrel, wearing hand me downs, and buying food with government money. The past few months have been the worst I’ve seen since I was in elementary school. I don’t know what went down or how it happened but it’s really starting to take a toll on me. About a month ago my mom made me give her $100 to pay the electric bill. I asked her about it 2 or so weeks later because I wanted it back for my birthday. Didn’t happen. Today she comes to me saying she needs an extra $60 or our internet (which we both need for work and school) will be shut off tomorrow night. Now, “technically” I have the money in checking as well as savings but I absolutely refuse to touch my savings for anything other than emergencies. My own personal emergencies. It’s my money, I saved it all completely on my own, and I’ll touch it when I want to. Now, like I said, I have the money but it’s the slow season at work so I’m only getting maybe 8-10 hours a week if I’m lucky. So I can’t be just throwing my money around. I’m already having to buy all my own food both out and at the grocery store. I was already buying my own gas but now my mom rides to empty so much and for so long that I have to put in $5-$10 every time I drive, just to ensure I can get to where I’m going. (I’m terrified of running out and our gas gauge isn’t reliable. 

Anyway, the point is that I am very frustrated. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m paying rent in my own house. I know this isn’t a devotion post, but it’s a God post. The Bible forever talks about what money can do to a person, having too much of it. In a way, they say the poor are the blessed. But I don’t consider getting all your power and water and internet shut off and not having any food in your house blessed. Especially when the rest of your family is just as broke and can’t help you out and all those Christian friends from the church that are more privileged and are supposed to help don’t exist so we’re screwed on every earthly resource God provides. I’m nearing rock bottom.

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